Being still is hard. When I say ‘being still’ I don’t mean sitting still. I can do that. I meditate. Namaste.
What I am talking about is hitting the eject button on a seemingly infinite cycle of doing, achieving and completing. This is something I have mentioned before, and this week I am building on it.
I am a BUSY person. Ask anyone close to me. And I know first hand that there are countless articles out there on the interwebs about how we glorify the busyness of our lives to feel important.
Guilty as charged your honour!
So last week when someone whom I value and respect told me to stop doing for the sake of being busy, I decided it was time to slow the fuck down. In fact, that is why I didn’t post this blog exactly seven days after the last post I wrote. Even though I have committed to doing one blog post per week. I gave it a couple of extra days. And you know what? The world didn’t end.
Who’d have thought?
And even though my life didn’t completely implode after not completing a task I had set for myself, I have been really, REALLY uncomfortable with doing nothing. (To be fair I still managed to squeeze in my first public speaking gig on the weekend but you get my point).
There have been all sorts of stories popping up through this process, some along the lines of the following-
“Chiara, you lazy bitch, who do you think you are to take a day off when other people are working night and day to achieve their dreams? You will never achieve anything, you are a complete waste of space, all of your school teachers were right about you….” And so on.
Gross hey? SO mean!
But as I catch my nasty inner taskmaster on overdrive, I suddenly become the one holding the whip. It’s a liberating experience as I recognise that I am watching the thoughts, and feeling the emotions they are creating – without avoiding anything. And as much as I am feeling the sweat and discomfort around changing my habits, I know I am on to something.
My authentic self is gently steering me towards the truth that there is actually nothing to be done, and that it is only in the stillness between those uncomfortable thoughts that we can see clearly, and truly create what we want.
The amount of resistance that you feel towards a situation is equal to the amount of growth you will experience if you choose to break through it.
And that is exactly where I am at friends. Feeling the resistance, and fully embracing it. I am learning that there is no need to rush into finding an outcome- for anything. There is no need to ‘finish’ this article because of some ridiculous need to do things perfectly, on time, all the time.
I am leaving it as a work in progress, because that is exactly what I am.