The right people can’t find you when you’re too busy running from yourself.

Life can feel lonely.

It’s pretty easy to feel disconnected in a world caught up in technology and competition, so to entertain the thought that nobody sees you can come quite naturally. I know at times I have felt really alone even in the busiest of places; in fact that’s often where I have felt the loneliest.

But what if that loneliness is actually self-inflicted? Could it be that what you seek exists, you’re just missing it?

For years, my goal-oriented inner mantra has been “do the work, be kind, and it will come”. Sounds a little idealistic I know, but in my heart I felt it to be true, so I lived it. It was hard on the days when people abused me at work, or I was struggling with my health or my finances.

It was- and still is- hard to live by this standard, especially when I see people around me succeeding particularly if I know they are an asshole. Sorry, but some people are.

But I soldiered on, pushed through the discomfort and found the strength to fight another day. Cue music. Track select: ‘Eye of the Tiger’.

After a while though, the inner frustration and resentment I felt at my current position started to stick around longer than I meant it to. It became distinctly harder to cop it when someone was being a jerk to me when all I was trying to do was BE A NICE PERSON. And the fake smile I’d put on when I’d hear of other peoples achievements became harder and harder to manufacture.

I know now that it’s not because I am a shit person that I had these feelings; it’s because I wasn’t operating from my authentic self. I was running from my truth at high speed, rejecting the fact that I wasn’t feeling content as “bad” and promptly replacing it with something “better”.

Now I see the error of my ways. How? I stopped running.

I stopped avoiding the fact that I was uncomfortable. And I managed to stop just long enough so that the people that I needed could catch up with me. As I found the courage to stop pretending I was OK all of the time, or that I could do it all alone; I found that my mentors were there, waiting for me to stop, take a look around, and ask for their help.

We all need a personal cheer squad in life, a kind of safety net of awesomeness to help us out as we strive whole-heartedly toward our goals. And let’s face it, our inner support crew gets tired as we move through what can be an unbearably painful life at times. But if we are so busy ‘pushing through’ and pretending we are ok, we aren’t open to inviting the support in.

So the next time you feel like you may be all alone, or that no one has your back, ask yourself- when was the last time you actually asked for help? You might find that you actually have a squad of people waiting, ready to catch you.

Chiara xo

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